College is a great opportunity to meet new people and grow as a person. Despite the fact the colleges have thousands of people crawling around campus, there are 10 types of people who always show up. Be aware of the signs so you know how to handle each one.
The Overeager Freshman
The Overeager Freshman is the literal worst. He tries too hard to impress the professors, actually wants to be friends with the RA, and thinks he’s friends with everyone. Sure, he’s nice and there’s not anything specifically wrong with him, but he’s kind of like a little gnat that won’t go away. You have to dodge the Overeager Freshman if you want to maintain your composure for the day.
The Hot Mess
She’s infamous, but man is she sloppy. The Hot Mess looks great on her way to the bar, but quickly begins slamming a tray of tequila shots so she can stumble her way through the rest of the night. There’s no telling where she’ll end up after the bar closes, but she’ll definitely lose her shoes somewhere, and her makeup will be smeared all over the place.
The Parentally Dependent
You might think the Parentally Dependent would be a freshman and he would grow out of it, but you’re wrong. He’s a major mama’s boy who goes home almost every weekend, needs his mom to do his laundry, comes back with two ice chests full of home-cooked meals, and relies on calls from his parents instead of an alarm clock. Wish him the best because he needs it the most.
You don’t dislike the underachiever as much as the Overachiever, but you still pray you’re never paired with them on an assignment. The Underachiever’s standard uniform is a pair of sweats and a tshirt, thier version of “early” is arriving to class right when the teacher begins lecturing, and they never do the homework. The Underachiever also likes to nap in class, so don’t sit by them unless you feel like sharing your notes.
The Functioning Alcoholic
It’s okay to admit that you kind of admire the Functioning Alcoholic’s ability to drink so much and still pass all of her classes. She can hide a hangover better than the CIA, manages to sneak alcohol into every function, and still looks like she’s got her life together. She’s every college kid’s hero.
There’s always one in each class, and they’ve been pissing off the rest of student body for decades. The Overachiever sits in the front row, asks a million questions, actually reads the syllabus, always does the homework, and is involved in every single club possible. It’s too easy to hate them.
So easy on the eyes, but so hard on the heart. This particular breed of male is the life of the party. He walks in, the party starts, and then every girl is dying for his attention. Don’t worry, he’ll pay just enough attention to each girl before he selects a few to hook up with that night. Then he’ll never speak to them again, and the cycle will start all over at the next party. Stay away from this guy at all costs.
The Non-Trad is almost as unbearable as the Overeager Freshman. It’s cool that she’s older and decided to get a degree later in life, but if she doesn’t stop trying to look cool and mother the whole class at the same time you’ll probably flip that tray of muffins in her lap. Why can’t the Non-Trad just keep her years of experience and “wisdom” to herself?
Greek life is cool and all, but the limit absolutely exists. The Greek Obsessed only wears clothing boasting their sorority or fraternity letters, only talks about the other members, only attends Greek functions, and only networks with Greek alum. They’re all Greek, all the time, and the real world is totally going to bite them in the ass.
The Disney Princess
She’s pretty, sweet, and always well-dressed. You can’t really look at her straight-on because she’s a mass of pink and rhinestones, and she kind of glows in an offensive manner. The Disney Princess came to college with one goal and one goal only: To find her prince. She’s determined to snag a man and ride off into the sunset after graduation.